Classic Summarize the plot events of BfA until Shadowlands in the worst way possible

I'm not gonna lie bros... I passed out for like 2 and a half years after eating a bad clam and just woke up and I'm wondering what the fuck is going on in the story. For my benefit, please summarize all the events of BfA to now in the shittiest way you can. I do not care about spoilers, but put them on for other people. via /r/wow https://ift.tt/3o3pvjW